I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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