He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
