I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
