I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My dick has a subreddit
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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