Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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