Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
