It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
