winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
