first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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