i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
