david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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