people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
