She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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