I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
