Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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