hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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