I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
