if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
