Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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