oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize