Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
