IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize