On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
