How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
