I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
