Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
