I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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