Whod you bang
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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