I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
