I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
