is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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