Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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