check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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