just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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