you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
