Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
