Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
