apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize