Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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