You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
