we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
