I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
