honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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