Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
