Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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