Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
