fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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