wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
