I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
