Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
