I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
