Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
