i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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