Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
