I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
