It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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