You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
