so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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