I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
