I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize