I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
