Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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