So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
